The Road Less Traveled

or “The GPS from Hades”

By Terry Futrell

Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” concludes with these lines:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

On a recent vacation trip to West Virginia along with my wife Marsha and our friend Lynn, we took “the road less traveled,” thanks to my GPS, and the difference was one of the most unsettling and harrowing experiences that we have had in a long time.

To properly set the stage for my story, you must first understand that West Virginia is very different from Tennessee – they charge tolls on interstate highways. We paid two four dollar tolls in just over fifty miles from Charleston to Beckley, which was to be our base of operations for the week. Needless to say, I hate toll roads and will take extreme measures to avoid them!

So, when we headed for Babcock State Park northeast of Beckley to photograph their famous grist mill with waterwheel, I looked at the two optional routes offered by the GPS on my Honda Pilot and quickly chose the route with no tolls. Big mistake!

The route took us several miles through Beckley on narrow residential streets. Finally, we left Beckley on Highway 41, which was a paved road much like many rural roads in Morgan County. The highway wound its way down into the New River gorge, with several miles of eight percent grade. I was thankful that Lynn was driving because I did not have to look down into the gorge that is about 500 feet high.

We then crossed New River and traveled some distance along the river before once again climbing to the top of the gorge. The highway was dotted with small settlements having only a few houses each, along with a typical post office and Dollar General. 

We had just passed through the community of Layland when the GPS said turn left onto Chestnut Knob Road. This is where our adventure really began! Now, a prudent person might wonder “Why would I leave a state highway and turn onto a lesser road several miles from my destination?” Well, on this occasion, I was not very prudent and we blindly followed the GPS’ instructions.

After a short distance, the nice lady in the GPS said turn right onto Beury Mountain Road, and, like puppets on a string, we obligingly did so. Soon, much to our dismay, the road changed from pavement to gravel. The further we drove, the more narrow the road became. We were literally on a one-lane gravel road with no signs of civilization and no place to turn around.

Then, we saw a sign ahead – Beury Mountain Wildlife Management Area. To say that we were more concerned at this point would be a gross understatement! All I could think of was Burt Reynolds and the movie “Deliverance.” I listened intently for sounds of banjo music and Ned Beatty’s squeals. With an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach, I made sure that my gun was readily accessible. How I wished that Vernon Justes and Thump were along to ride shotgun!

Finally, after traveling almost six miles over the one-lane gravel road at about ten miles per hour, the now not-so-nice lady in the GPS said turn left onto Park Forest 804. Well, that road was more like a pig-path with grass growing in the middle. Fortunately, I saw a couple of hikers and asked them if that road was passable. Their reply was “There is a gate about two hundred yards ahead.” Finally, we made an almost intelligent decision and did not make the turn.

After continuing on for about a quarter mile, we found ourselves back on Highway 41, that nice paved road that we had left about 40 minutes earlier. The GPS had put us through much distress  to save perhaps a mile of travel, even though it took at least 30 minutes longer. At this point, I mentally dedicated an old Jimmy Dickens song to the Garmin Company – “May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.”

Needless to say, we returned to Beckley by the route that was a toll road. Adding insult to injury, we found that the toll on this road was only 75 cents. I suppose we learned a couple of lessons through this experience. First, never blindly follow a GPS – that soft spoken lady is not your friend! Second, pay the tolls – there is a good reason they chose those roads on which to charge you!